I’m sure you looked at the title of this post and either did one of two things: 1- rolled your eyes and thought “Really? Sorority BS,” or 2- smiled and thought to yourself “I loved college and all the craziness of sorority life.” This isn’t really about reminiscing about my days as a sorority girl because that’s boring to talk about memories that aren’t your own, but this is more about the lessons that I gained as a woman. I have said this time and time again, I am a better woman because of my sorority affiliation and believe that it turned me into a more determined, accountable, passionate, boss chick! And to be honest, the thought behind this post was because my adorable twin-of-a-niece (how cute are we?) emailed me about wanting to go through recruitment at her school and I instantly thought about all of the amazing things she would gain by joining (those lessons again). So let me tell you the story of how my sorority days led me to being a boss chick!
Let’s start with some background before we get into the nitty-gritty. When I thought about going through the
rush recruitment process, it was purely to make friends; it was my first time being away from home and I knew literally 3 people on a campus of 20,000. If you’ve never been through recruitment, for me, it was 4 days of literally non-stop talking, smiling, and trying to figure out who I liked. It came down to two houses that I thought were great, but ultimately there was one that just felt like a home away from home. The girls I met we’re sweet, funny, full of personality, and accepting (it’s not the easiest thing to be a black girl entering a traditionally white sorority). Once I signed my bid card, I started to meet girls in the house that I clicked with who encouraged me to put academics before social obligations (there would be time to party & celebrate once we aced a big exam), be lovable than popular (popularity fade, but reputation withstands the test of time), and most importantly, to be womanly always, discouraged never. That last one has always stayed with me, but we’ll get into that one a little later. As years past, I became more and more active with the house & my sisters and when it came time to graduate, I was boo-hooing like a baby because it was over (or so I thought). Thankfully, I had great mentors in my national sorority and larger Greek life community who kept reminding me that sorority life is “for a lifetime.” And they were so right because the minute I moved to LA, I reached out the local alumnae chapter and met incredibly, successful women who helped me get settled, find a job, and many of who are now life-long friends.
Now that you have a little background, let’s get into these life lessons.
Sorority Life Lesson 1: Build Her Up
If you haven’t noticed from the blog or my Facebook, IG, Twitter and @curvygirlscan on SnapChat (you’re following me, right?), I am a girl’s girl! During my time in the house, it was just a fact that you had your sister’s back, no matter what! Sure, you had disagreements on things with people, became jealous over petty things, or even
judged worried about girls because of decision they made at the time (it’s not easy living with 25+ girls, especially at 19!), but when push came to shove, that was my friend and sister. As I’ve matured, I think it’s vitally important to keep this lesson in mind. It’s a tough world out there for women and it really does annoys me when women tear other females down. What is it going to hurt to support that woman in her endeavors or to empower her to keep working towards what she wants in life? Not one thing! For me, it’s helpful and empowering when I get support, advice, and a positive push to keep going from other women, so keep that in mind the next time you have the choice to build her up or knock her down.
Sorority Life Lesson 2: To Be Womanly Always
This sounds like a basic concept, but that little phrase has gotten me through many-a-tough situation. It’s has a bigger meaning than being graceful, classy, and respectful… being womanly is about being the best version of yourself. I have been in tough situations in the past where I could easily stoop to a low level, hurled insults, or been less than the standard that I hold myself to, but I always keep those four little words in mind and remember that I am an incredibly powerful woman who can choose the high road and show my best self to others with class and wit. Trust me, I may be heated in the moment, but I’m always thankful afterwards that I kept my cool and was the best woman I could be in the situation.
Sorority Life Lesson 3: Traditions are made to be Adapted
When I was a newbie in the house and things would start to change, I’d always here the upperclassmen say, “But we’ve always done it this way! It’s a tradition!” It wasn’t that we didn’t want to honor the “tradition”, but things change. I never knew until I started working professionally as an Event Planner that this “but we’re always done it this way,” phrase would continue past small time sorority stuff. Thankfully, I learned during my time in the house that instead of backing down from that comment, I figured out how to knowledgeably explain my point on how things can be better. When I explain it in a manner that isn’t bratty or rude, people are more willing to understand that change is good and can be more positive than negative. If you’re challenged with trying to change a “tradition”, policy, or even a rule, be sure to have a well thought out approach for your audience and be confident in what you’re preaching!
Sorority Life Lesson 4: Remember taking a Leap of Faith Comes with Wings
I remember speaking to a sorority sister several years ago who was nervous about a new opportunity. As I was trying to convince her to go for it, I ended up saying, “When you take a leap of faith on something or someone, that leap comes with a pair of wing to pick you up if you end up free-falling. Those wings are your family and friends who support you wholeheartedly, so take the leap!” She instantly thanked me and took on the incredible journey of becoming a successful Physician’s Assistant. We can’t be scared to take the leap because of the unknown; we have to take it knowing that our “wings” will help to pick up the pieces and support us if something goes wrong. The moral of the story is don’t be scared, just hope, pray, meditate, call your spirit animal (whatever you believe in) and just take the leap of faith and know that you have wings!
Sorority Life Lesson 5: Love You, for You
Sororities sometime get a bad wrap for being shallow or cookie-cutter in appearance, but in reality many chapters believe in diversity and accepting woman for who they are. As a girl who has always had curves (and a booty), my sisters helped me to embrace the things I was insecure about with my body and personality. The support I received during normal, run-of-the-mill things like shopping for a special formal dress, wearing a bathing suit during spring break, or the weekly shout outs at chapter meeting for doing something positive in the world, all helped to boost my confidence. I learned rather quickly that choosing the right people who embrace, support and love you for you is an essential part of happiness!
Sorority Life Lesson 6: Recruitment Chatter is the BEST Interview Prep
Now I told you about the non-stop talking when I went through recruitment to join, but when I was on the other side and looking for the right girls to join… it was a different story. I was trained to ask solid questions, have eye contact, be personable, connect with the girl, and to listen, which are all best practices for interviewing! Over the last 10 years of interviewing for jobs, those skills have helped to confidently kill it at a majority of them. The best tip I’ve ever gotten from one of my sisters was, “An interview is just a conversation.” For whatever reason, that advice has stuck and has helped to take the pressure off when it go time! If you’re up for a big interview, keep those tricks & advice in mind and I’m sure you’ll impress them instantly!
See, I told you sororities weren’t that bad! I hope that these lessons give you a little reminder to be the best woman you can be in all areas of life. Were you in a sorority and learned a good life lesson? Well tell me about it in the comment section below! The more we, as women, help each others become better
women human beings, our world will start to change drastically from a petty, gossip thriving society to a supportive and mindful one. I can’t wait to hear your life lessons below!