… be Naughty!

One of the funniest questions I’ve gotten in the past year is about keeping life spicy with your significant other.  Now this normally isn’t a funny question, but to me it is because I am so not a sexy nor spicy person when it comes to love & sex!  I guess I have faked it til I made it:)

I think the sexiest thing a person can be is open.  This could be trying a new position that you saw in Cosmo magazine, being more open with your feelings with your lover, or even just go outside of your comfort zone and dating the guy who isn’t your normal type.  That alone will spice it up!  You definitely do not need to recreate Ciara’s Dance Like We’re Making Love video to spice things up; remember, a little can go a long way!

Here are 5 of my favorite things to keep it spicy (Mom, please stop reading now!):

  • Take a class! A friend and I took a free blow job class once (who would have thought such a class existed) at a local adult store.  We didn’t really go in with the expectation that we were going to learn a wealth of knowledge (I actually didn’t learn much), but it was more a reason for us to giggle, drink free champagne, and have girl talk about love and sex.  There are a number of classes that are taught on the matters of love, sex, and pleasure at adult stores, and in-home toy parties (a good bachelorette party idea😉).  If you and/or your partner are down, head to a local adult store and see if they offer free classes! I’ve heard of a ton of class from cuddling to swinging, so there is really something for everyone!  Now if you’re bashful and wouldn’t feel comfortable in that setting, check out the how to section on the PleasureChest.com.  This well-known adult store has a wealth of information on its site if you’re trying to spice things up or have no clue what things are.
  • Try a boudoir photo shoot!  These sexy and classy photoshoots have become very popular over the last couple years. I’ve have girlfriends do them for their soon-to-be husbands, as a reward for losing weight, and even to get beautiful, confident pictures of themselves.  No matter the reason, these images give you a new view of how sexy you can be.  And honestly who wouldn’t want to get all dressed up and get your picture taken!  Also popular, depending on your boo’s personality, is the 1950s style Pin-Up shoot; this is great if you aren’t into lingerie.  These spicy ideas are available all over and I recommend taking a look at Groupon to get a good deal!  Just be sure to search under boudoir photoshoots and print:)
  • Change it up!  If you have been going to the same restaurant every Friday after work with you boyfriend, change it up! Switch to a sexy, new restaurant in town and do something different with your look.  Maybe it’s curling your hair that’s normally in a ponytail, wearing a more form fitting dress instead for jeans, or if your really naughty, skip the knickers and share the news at dessert!  Changing things up, no matter how small, will put your S.O. on notice that your trying to spice things up.  And I know there are some boos who do not notice a thing and will just keep going through the meal and never even notice your cleavage, but I am notorious for fishing for compliments (I have no shame in my game!).  So you have my full permission to say ” What do you think of my new top?” and hoist the girls up or “I love this new dress! Do you think it’s sexy?” You get the drift!
  • As the song says, Talk Dirty to Me!  Dirty talk is one of the most awkward things if you have never done it or are not confident in what you’re saying.  I get that no one wants to sound like they’re in a filthy porno, but dirty talk can be a game changer! I definitely believe in the power of dirty talk because a simple conversation with a few naughty words and details can spice up the rest of the night!  Take it slow at first and just try changing words out for naughtier versions and build from there.  If dirty talk is not in your vocab, then pretend to be a millennial and send naughty texts to your lover!  Give your S.O. a sneak peak of what you want to do later that night or even a description of sexy bra and panties your wearing that you can’t wait for him/her to take off.  It’s all in good fun and can easily get someone hot and bothered quick, especially if your boo can keep up with the sexy banter😉 The only thing I warn against while sexting is DO NOT SEND NUDE PICTURES!!!!  I can’t stress it enough that you cannot control where those pictures go, especially now that people link everything to their clouds; those images are literally just floating around.  And trust me I have gotten my fair share of peen pics and it’s disgusting (why and when did that become cute?!).  I either show it to my friends when we’re out for a good laugh, but 95% of the time I’m truly turned off and your blocked from my phone and deleted!
  • Kiss, kiss, and kiss a little more! I am a HUGE fan of kissing/making out and I’ve had some guys just literally knock me on me butt from a good kiss!  I think when your older you forget the fun of making out and getting all revved up.  So many of us are ready to move to the final rounds and get the party started that you forget that it’s not a race.  The best kisses for me, are unexpected and passionate.  If your lover is grabbing the take out order at the door, grab the food, put it down and push up against the wall and give him a good smooch.  Or maybe you haven’t gotten the chance to see each other all week, I adore when you walk in the door and are greeted with a sexy make out session in the doorway. It takes you by surprise, but it makes you aware that you were missed and that your S.O. wants you!  What more could you ask for?

Have you tried any of my favorite suggestions? Not yet? Well what do you do to keep things spicy in your relationships? Share below because I’d love hear:)




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